I am not completely sure why I am stuck on movie themes. I am sure there is a reason buried deep inside of me.
I am still unpacking and processing things I learned on retreat, things I have learned in Genesis 3, and where I feel like God is inviting me into deeper relationship.
This post is heavily inspired and directed by thoughts that were brought to the retreat by our leader, Jamin Goggin, who is the Pastor of Spiritual Formation and Retreats at Saddleback Church in California.
At the beginning of the retreat we looked at some of the things we want while we are on retreat.
The first thing we want on retreat is to be honest.
Jamin said, “We cannot experience love without being known, we cannot be known without being honest.”
“God cannot have a relationship with our false self.”
If you have been reading the last few days, you know that the theme of hiding has been prevalent in those posts. Starting the retreat off with this principle helped me to get to that place.
Relationships require taking risks. In order to enter into a true relationship requires you to take a risk. Whether it is at the eighth grade dance and you are asking a girl to dance for the first time (talk about risky business) or sharing with a friend your inner struggles with habitual sins, both require risk.
In order for us to experience God’s love fully, we have to be known fully. And that can feel like risky business. Especially if you have bought into the lie that you can hide things from Him.
I feel like I have bought the lie that I will present to God my finest parts and trust that it is the type of person He will find pleasure in. It is the same idea of wearing my best outfit on my first date and hoping that I can “win over” my date.
The reality when we get to a true and honest understanding that there are no hiding places from God. He fully knows us and fully loves us. And it is about us being able to fully experience this and receive this…
It is the idea of “hearing him walking in the Garden.” Gen 3.8
In our human relationships it is really risky business to trust others and to be vulnerable and honest and naked with others, but, when you look at your relationship with your Heavenly Father, who created you and knows you fully… where is the risk?
Jamin refers to prompts inside of you as “invitations to relationship.” With the girl at the eighth grade dance, you might have caught a lingering glance and you interpreted that as an invitation to relationship, or a girl who was willing to meet you for dinner, or maybe it is God stirring something inside of you, bringing it to your thoughts, saying “hey, let’s chat about this…”
I can tell you that I am still struggling with wanting to go to my hiding places and believing that they exist. I still feel like being fully naked and known by my God is risky business, but, I know that this isn’t true… and, moreover I know that I want desperately to be fully loved and I know that this only comes through being fully known…
so the challenge today…. what is at risk here? the risk of being fully loved?
let’s be honest…
It feels like a risk, with human vulnerability; what is at risk on retreat?