Really letting go…

It is so crazy… I have had a chaotic and yet amazing week… or weeks I should say…

Since recovering from the flu… I have had a lot of curve balls thrown my way, but, I am really glad to say that God has prepared me for them and they haven’t felt like curve balls… it is like when athletes say they are seeing the ball better…

I am going to be transitioning positions and I am learning what it means to truly live by faith… and in all of this God has been more real to me than ever… Tangible.. and amazing

I was trying to get to sleep and I got thinking about how it has seemed relatively “easy” to make this transition into the unknown abyss of “living by faith” with my career and ministry…. but, I have been “digging on a girl” and I am scared to death by it…

I mean seriously… I am willing to say, “God, I have no idea what the rest of my life looks like or how I will make a living”… but, I am scared to death to put myself out there and find out if the feelings are reciprocal with this girl….

I am trying to not overthink this… I am a classic overthinker… I am trying just enjoy the fact that there is a person in my life that makes me want to be a better man and makes me smile when they text or call or I get to spend time with them…

So, I realized that as I read recently, we often compartmentalize our lives to what God is involved in, and what he doesn’t care about… and that is just crap thinking… what is it that God doesn’t care about? come on, I know better… and, I will be honest, I have never really treated my romantic or love life be a spiritual thing (maybe why things are where they are?) So, I prayed and am letting go of this part of my life that God wants to be a part of, and I want him to be a part of…

I am and was a huge fan of the band “Big Tent Revival”… potentially an uber-fan… one of the songs they had has been resonating in my heart so I am going to post the lyrics…

I am a man
Who hides his feeling
but I don’t think I can
keep from revealing

all the things inside of me
Are all out of control
so Lord I’m letting go of

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

There was a time
things didn’t matter
Reason and rhyme
were second nature

It was all a big facade
I have come to know
so Lord, I’m letting go

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

I am calling
Are you hearing
I am falling
Come and catch me

From now on, I put my trust
In you and you alone
And Lord I’m letting go

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

What part of your life have you compartmentalized and are keeping from God?

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