I realize in life that it seems like there are a lot of things that take balance… There are two things that I felt like really evidenced themselves yesterday; business and ministry, and worship and performance.
Business and Ministry
It is a real challenge to be involved in ministry as your business. When you chose to do something which you hope has eternal value, you end up running your business differently. It is hard… because at the end of the day, I can’t tell my landlord or the electric company that I am going to pay them with eternal impact. I think it becomes a test of faith, trust, and patience. God knows my needs, and he will truly bless the ministry in the way it needs to be blessed in His time. It is hard to choose not to measure yourself up against the world’s standards. It is hard to remain faithful and know that God is preparing for a season of great reward. But, it is balance… I have to be faithful to diligently prove worthy of the task and run my business with enough savvy to pay my bills and be responsible while I trust God will provide both the greater impact both here on earth and beyond.
Worship and Performance
I used to be on staff at a church where I was the worship leader. I enjoyed it greatly, but there were aspects of working in a church that lead to be too much for me. I have recently been asked to lead worship at the church I currently attend for the youth programs… I have done it twice for the 5th through 8th grade, which is an age group I just love… and then last night was the first time I lead for the senior high, a group I have learned to enjoy, but am clearly intimidated by…
There is a balance to leading in worship. It is more than just music, it is more than just performance, but it does involve both. We had a weird configuration of musicians last night, and, I was not real confident going into the set that things were going to go really well, or that it would be well-received… The first song was rough… and I think I knew what the hang up was.. a technical error on my part… but, it was just one song and I didn’t get anything thrown at me… so it was a success… After the announcements and skit, we did the rest of the time… and into the second song of the night, I backed away during a chorus and heard an amazing sound… voices… youth voices… singing… the words…. If you have never had the opportunity to lead worship or be on stage during corporate worship, it is an amazing feeling to hear the choir singing back at you… it really struck me… this is what it is about… not the technical crap… not about the perfect chords and band and what-not… it is about youth singing great lyrics and having an opportunity to worship… I actually had the big bad senior high youth group singing along and the whole thing went really well, and was cohesive with the message… it was a great service…
As I was leaving, one of the recently graduated senior-highers who I have known for a while stopped me in my car… he was like… “that was great… that was real worship”…. it really floored me… and encouraged me that I might just have found that balance.