Archive for January, 2008

Really letting go…

January 30, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

It is so crazy… I have had a chaotic and yet amazing week… or weeks I should say…

Since recovering from the flu… I have had a lot of curve balls thrown my way, but, I am really glad to say that God has prepared me for them and they haven’t felt like curve balls… it is like when athletes say they are seeing the ball better…

I am going to be transitioning positions and I am learning what it means to truly live by faith… and in all of this God has been more real to me than ever… Tangible.. and amazing

I was trying to get to sleep and I got thinking about how it has seemed relatively “easy” to make this transition into the unknown abyss of “living by faith” with my career and ministry…. but, I have been “digging on a girl” and I am scared to death by it…

I mean seriously… I am willing to say, “God, I have no idea what the rest of my life looks like or how I will make a living”… but, I am scared to death to put myself out there and find out if the feelings are reciprocal with this girl….

I am trying to not overthink this… I am a classic overthinker… I am trying just enjoy the fact that there is a person in my life that makes me want to be a better man and makes me smile when they text or call or I get to spend time with them…

So, I realized that as I read recently, we often compartmentalize our lives to what God is involved in, and what he doesn’t care about… and that is just crap thinking… what is it that God doesn’t care about? come on, I know better… and, I will be honest, I have never really treated my romantic or love life be a spiritual thing (maybe why things are where they are?) So, I prayed and am letting go of this part of my life that God wants to be a part of, and I want him to be a part of…

I am and was a huge fan of the band “Big Tent Revival”… potentially an uber-fan… one of the songs they had has been resonating in my heart so I am going to post the lyrics…

I am a man
Who hides his feeling
but I don’t think I can
keep from revealing

all the things inside of me
Are all out of control
so Lord I’m letting go of

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

There was a time
things didn’t matter
Reason and rhyme
were second nature

It was all a big facade
I have come to know
so Lord, I’m letting go

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

I am calling
Are you hearing
I am falling
Come and catch me

From now on, I put my trust
In you and you alone
And Lord I’m letting go

I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go
I’m letting go, Lord I’m letting go

What part of your life have you compartmentalized and are keeping from God?

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“Feel the burn…”

January 22, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

I am not the most athletic guy. I am not a jock. I am not a fan of the gym. I hate going to the gym, but, I do enjoy it once I am there and into my routine.

I look at people who get excited about “pain” and think… “they are freaks…” I am thinking of the trainers and the workout gurus who will exclaim… “feel the burn… feel the pain” someone who would exclaim “no pain no gain.”

I realize that these people have some wisdom. In life you have to go through growing pains to grow.

I want to become someone who enjoys the process… I want to be a person who gets excited about the results of the process.

I read this morning about Peter getting out of the boat and walking out to Jesus. He gets freaked out a little bit and Jesus is right there. You know what, I need to get out of the boat. But, I am scared. I need to cry out to Jesus “save me.”

I am a part of a group of guys, and we are all going through growing times in our lives. I want to change my perspective. I want to look into the face of Jesus and know that He has me… and know that all of this will make sense in a little while…

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My Mood Ring

January 18, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

It is a weird phenomenon. Yesterday was gray and gloomy and I was the same. Today I woke up and it is sunny and bright and so am I.

I deal with a self-diagnosed acute seasonal affected disorder. I am not one for believing in diagnosing everything. There is no denying that the conditions definitely affect me though.

It does seem interesting to me though that the last week or so it seems like it has been a little chicken and egg with the conditions. I can’t put my finger if the cosmos is following my emotional plight, or whether I am that affected by the outside conditions.

Regardless, I needed a sunny day. I thank God for the sun. It is hard to be thankful for the rain and the seasons, but I am self-aware enough to be thankful for things that are beyond me. (not that God was looking for my unselfishness)

I apologize that there hasn’t been a lot of content, but as I have admitted before, usually the deficit of content going up on my blog is usually representative of me reading more… and I am doing that… so, I apologize…

I hope that it is sunny where you are… I hope that God is showing up in a mighty way in your life.

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God’s Timecard

January 15, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , ,

I know this might be overly-simplified, but, I am in fact a simple guy. (keep your comments to yourselves… hehe) As I was in my thinking chamber (shower) this morning, I finally started to feel alive and somewhat recovered from this flu that has just kicked my butt. I started to thank God for His love, grace, healing.

I realized that God doesn’t get sick days. I don’t really get them either, but this past week, I have been going half-speed at best. I thank God that He is God. I am thankful that He doesn’t “phone-it-in” or take days at half-speed.

I am thankful for what God has given me, but I am more thankful for who it is that God is.

Like I said, simple thoughts, but for me where I am in life…. profound.

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Dealing with the flu… Life lessons

January 10, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

I have been dealing with flu-like symptoms since Sunday night. I have come to one basic conclusion…

It Sucks!

I have realized amidst my foggy thought and achey bones that I am treating this flu much like I am treating my life. I am very very impatient. I want this to be over. I know that when you get something like this it is going to take time to run its course. I would really just like it to be over.

I guess I am also learning that I am not in control. As much as I want to control every little aspect of my life, including when I feel good or bad, I don’t.

I generally think that I lead a paced life, where I am not going at fast forward all the time, but the idea of going slow, or not at all, like I am right now, is killing me. I am hoping that as I learn the lessons of dealing with the flu, I will also learn that I need to be patient in my life. I also need to realize that I am not in control… AT ALL…

Trust is a hard thing… probably the hardest… I trust that God is going before me and preparing a way, and I trust that He is the great physician and is going to bring healing.

Hope you are healthy!

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Wisdom from the Fox Commentators and Coaches

January 3, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , ,

First, let me apologize for the lapse… didn’t have consistent web access throughout the holidays, and well, they were indeed the holidays… so I took a little break…

This is a bittersweet time of the year… Every night of the week you can see an amazing college football match up on prime-time TV… Hockey is in full swing… but, as of next Monday, no more college football until September… and here in Nashville it is ridiculously cold… but, it is Nashville, so wait two days and we will have to break out a new wardrobe any minute…

Last night I stayed in and watched the Oklahoma and West Virginia football game. I also got a little burst of energy to change the layout of my bedroom around… no idea where it came from but before I knew it, I was dusting and cleaning and doing loads of laundry… crazy… but good… exhausted myself and slept like a baby…

After my overhaul of my bedroom I sat down to really focus on the game, there were moments when it looked like Oklahoma was going to turn things around and make a run at coming back into the game. One of the main issues for the Sooners was penalties. One of the players got called for something that was a mental mistake. It was late in the game… and fatigue started to set in. He came over to the sideline and got an earful from his coach.

Just then the commentators were talking about when you coach kids that you tell them… (and this is a paraphrase) “If you are going to learn a lesson, you will be able to look back and see where you suffered.” He was applying that to being penalized on the football field and learning the lesson to not make the same mistake, but, I thought… WOW… that is good stuff.

It is seems wrong that it takes suffering for us to have to learn a lesson… but, it seems very true in my life. How funny would it be to have a referee following us around and when I mess up, he blows his whistle and throws up a flag and makes me go back 10 yards… seems like a ridiculous image, and because I know how often he would be penalizing me, I wouldn’t dare try this experiment…

It makes me think yet again about the Hebrews reference that talks about discipline not seeming fun at the time, but it yields a life of fruitfulness…

I pray that this year provides fruitfulness for us all…

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